


Sneaking Around, or, the God of Mischief’s New Clothes

by ala



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-04
Updated: 2011-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-20 03:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ala/pseuds/ala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They called Loki the god of mischief simply because the god of “sneaking around, causing trouble, only occasionally getting caught, getting out of trouble, half-truths, misdirection, skulduggery, wordplay and wits” was very difficult to say when angry. He could conceal anything, except this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sneaking Around, or, the God of Mischief’s New Clothes

They called Loki the god of mischief simply because the god of “sneaking around, causing trouble, only occasionally getting caught, getting out of trouble, half-truths, misdirection, skulduggery, wordplay and wits” was very difficult to say when angry. Whenever something went awry Loki was usually to blame, even if the tricked couldn’t prove it, and when downing mead at the tavern it was easier to curse the god of mischief rather than the god of all that other stuff (although it was heavily implied). There was no doubt in any one's mind that Loki was the best trickster in all of the nine realms. Unfortunately, no one knew this better than Loki. If Loki wanted to conceal something then there was absolutely no way that anyone would find out. That is, he could conceal everything except his largest, most important secret.

The prince had many secrets, but the most precious to him was his long-standing relationship Sif. Started when they were both barely out of the schoolroom the sparks between them, had, over the years, developed into a roaring fire that not even Loki discovering he was a Jotun and his subsequent betrayal of his family could put out. Sif loved him deeply; for his part Loki utterly adored her (a fact he would not admit aloud under penalty of death, not that it mattered as Sif already knew).

Along with his adoration of her was his delight in that their relationship was something wholly his (“I think you mean _ours_ ,” Sif had corrected), something that he didn’t have to share with his brother or with all of Asgard, something so treasured that he avoided thinking too deeply about it lest he do something dramatic and completely embarrassing. Naturally something so precious had to be kept hidden away from the rest of the realm. When he had first approached the idea of secrecy with Sif she had merely rolled her eyes, agreed, and then kissed him. The truth would come out sooner or later, despite what Loki believed about his abilities, but Sif wasn’t in any hurry to have everyone know.

Loki truly was the master of secrets. If he hid something no one would ever find it. If he knew something others would only know if he spoke. If he wanted to orchestrate an event no one could trace it back to him he could and frequently would.. He had earned his titles, which was why his utter incapability of keeping this particular secret was so amazing and amusing to everyone else. He tried with all the power at his disposal; everyone knew he did, but the “secret” relationship he shared with Sif was only a secret in the sense that “it was a secret to Loki that everyone knew.”

There were very few who hadn’t stumbled upon the two of them embraced in a shadowed corner and the long “training sessions” in the woods of Asgard fooled no one. If Sif was seen in the palace near Loki’s room everyone just ignored her just as they ignored the heated, lingering looks the two sent each other across every room. There was a reason that Heimdall refused to turn his gaze to Sif or Loki unless one of them was physically by his side (“Heimdall, where is my brother Loki? I have need of him.” “He is...ugh.” “What is it? Why do you grimace so?” “Let’s just say there are some things that no brother should see his sister doing.” “Oh. I’ll um, wait for him to, ah, finish.”)

No one batted an eyelash at Sif’s strange and sudden desire to be tutored in Asgardian history (by Loki of course, no one else was as learned in the subject). The palace servants knew not to disturb their “studying” when they were locked together in the library. No one even bothered to quiz Sif on the knowledge she was allegedly learning for they knew her recollection of history would be the same (terrible). Only a few members of the royal household had missed the (loud, frequent) makeup sex that had occurred after Loki had returned to Asgard after repairing his relationship with his father and brother.

Occasionally others tried to hint to Loki that they knew about his relationship with Sif and approved, and perhaps encourage the couple to come out in public, but the usually astute Loki was so secure in his faith in his abilities that he was oblivious to all hints, subtle or otherwise:  

from the Warriors Three (“I do declare Fandral, they bicker like an old married couple more and more every day.” “Quite right Volstagg, one almost wishes they would just get married and therefore stop speaking to each other like every other couple, what do you think Hogan?” “I think they heard you.” “Ow!”)

the obligatory “when are you getting married and giving me grandchildren” conversation with Frigga (“ _Mother_!” “I’m just saying that there are plenty of very nice ladies out there. You should put in some effort.” “We are not having this conversation.” “Well if you won’t go out to meet someone new you should look closely at those around you...like Sif. You know Thor already considers her to be like a sister and she’s such a wonderful woman, I would be proud to call her daughter...Loki! Loki come back here!”)

with his brother Thor (“Sif has grown into quite an attractive maiden, no?” “...yes.” “You need not sound so cold brother! She is my dearest friend and I wish to see her happy. Perhaps you should pay her court.” “I should...say, have you heard the rumors about a troll that has been pestering the borders of Vanaheim?” “A troll? I daresay we must investigate!” “Yes, let’s.”)

Even Odin Allfather, who felt such meddling was beneath him, often maneuvered it so that the two could be alone under the pretense of official business. (“Loki, my son, take this message to the king of the Light Elves in Alfheim. It is of some urgency; take only the Lady Sif with you as your guard.” “Of course, what is it Father?” “I wish to wish him happy birthday”). Wise king that he was, Odin was nevertheless not particularly good at subterfuge, and Loki was quick to interpret the Allfather’s mission as insult. Sif pointed out that they should use the time wisely else for the next mission she would refuse to go and send Volstagg instead. Loki really wasn’t a fool, and so he promptly shut up.

Sif herself knew that everyone knew (and that everyone either approved or didn’t care) but didn’t have the heart to tell Loki that the lord of pulling wool over others’ eyes was fooling no one, and hadn’t been for years. She had spoken with Thor about it (“You and Loki?” “Yes Thor.” “Well I suppose if he gives you trouble you can take care of yourself.” “Yes Thor.” “Mind you do not injure him too badly then. More mead?” “...Yes Thor.”) and they were fine.

Many years had passed since Loki and Sif had commenced their relationship. All Asgardians knew. All Asgardians knew that every other Asgardian knew. Some Asgardians (though loath to admit it) were just a small bit afraid of what Loki might do if they were to embarrass him by revealing that they knew, but most were fond enough of their prince and the lady Sif to turn the metaphorical blind eye. So, naturally, it was not an Asgardian at all who finally clued Loki in that his secret wasn’t very secret.

It was on Earth, at the only all-you-can-eat buffet within a 100 mile radius of Puente Antiguo that would still serve Volstagg. Sif and the Warriors Three had decided to visit Thor and Jane on earth and Loki tagged along. He liked Jane and respected her fierce intelligence as well as the positive influence she had on his brother (not that he would ever let anyone know this). Additionally, Loki was unwilling to miss an opportunity to verbally spar with Jane’s assistant Darcy. In the young woman Loki saw a kindred spirit, one who enjoyed mischief as much as he and whose quick wit and sharp tongue were almost a match for his own. Today Darcy had a gleam in her eye that indicated that she had something good planned. Loki ate his meal and prepared for Darcy’s opening salvo. It was not long in coming.

Darcy waited until Loki had taken a bite of fried chicken before she turned to Sif and Loki and asked nonchalantly “so...how long have you two been together?”

Loki choked. As he coughed and sputtered Sif reached behind him to thump him on the back. Conversation ceased at the table and all eyes turned to Loki in curiosity.

“Whatever,” he gasped, “do you mean?”

“You know, dating, sleeping together, having sex, making love, bumping uglies, getting a leg over, fu--”

“I know what you mean,” Loki interrupted.

“Well then why did you ask? So, how long? I mean it’s obviously not a recent thing, but I’ve been curious.”

Loki turned to look at Sif. Her face was impassive but her eyes were dancing with mirth. She had made it her life’s work to make Loki as undone as possible and appreciated the efforts of others. He would receive no help from her. With a small sigh he turned back to Darcy.

“My dear young lady,” he replied icily, attempting to regain some of his famous composure, “you have obviously been misinformed. The Lady Sif and I are no--”

“I thought it started when you two were still training with Tyr,” Volstagg interrupted. The words came out slightly distorted as he was currently shoving a steak, a slab of ham, two baked potatoes, and three dinner rolls into his mouth. Loki turned to stare at him incredulously.

“Ah yes I remember,” Fandral joined in. “Around the time Sif cut her hair. Such gorgeous golden locks, gone forever...” he sighed dramatically.

“If you want gorgeous golden locks, Fandral, look to Thor. His hair has always been prettier than mine,” Sif teased.

Jane giggled. “It is very pretty.” Thor preened under her gaze and leaned down to give her a kiss.

Loki, meanwhile, had lost all trace of his infamous cool. “ _You _all know__?” he finally burst out.

The Asgardians around the table looked nervously at each other. No one spoke. Darcy grinned maniacally and Sif coughed lightly into her hand to cover up her laughter.

“Yes,” Hogun finally answered.

“By Odin’s ravens yes!” Volstagg boomed. Somehow even more food had appeared in front of him and he was now devouring most of a meatloaf and a generous helping of sweet potatoes. “Did you honestly think you were fooling us with your study sessions and long walks in the forest?”

“Of course those stopped after you both wound up with stinging nettles on your backsides,” Thor joined in. The look Loki shot his brother was one of utter betrayal.

“What, you think we didn’t notice you two fidgeting throughout the feast that evening?”

“Or notice that you two frequently sneak off during feasts? That alcove in the north passageway isn’t that secluded you know,” Fandral added. “and occasionally _others_ might like to make use of it,” he continued a bit petulantly.

“I used spells!” Loki burst out, “concealment spells more powerful than those that snuck  _frost giants_ into Asgard! And you are telling me that you all knew anyway?”

“Yeah yeah, we know. You’re the big bad frost giant wizard, master of all the arcane, blah blah blah. But apparently your spells don’t work all that well when you’re getting some, who knew? Oh wait, you didn’t.” Darcy again, looking mighty pleased with all the mischief she had caused at Loki’s expense.

Loki turned to glare at her. His hand started to curl like he was about to start a spell but stopped when Sif laced her fingers with his. With her other hand she dragged his head to hers so that their foreheads were touching. After sending one final glare in Darcy’s direction he met Sif’s eyes.

“Yes, everyone knows, no one disapproves. Your mother has already requested grandchildren. I told her Jane was thinking about it.”

“Mother knows?” (“Wait, what?” Jane sat up, eyes wide).

“Well she can see the future you know, so yes, and the Allfather has--”

 _"Father_ knows?”

“Well yes, I assume your mother told him. The Allfather has given his approval. Why do you think we were sent on so many long, pointless, journeys to Alfheim?”

“I...”

“Exactly. Now your friends--and all of Asgard--let you keep your fantasy that we were a secret because they wanted to give us privacy and let us announce it on our own. Instead of being angry you should thank them--”

“Thank them! For what? All of Asgard knows and now that Darcy’s opened her mouth soon all Earth will as well!”

“Hey! I resent that implication!” piped up Darcy indignantly. Loki and Sif ignored her. Hogun made a shushing motion in her direction as he strained to hear what Sif was saying.

“I don’t care if all the nine realms knows Loki Odinson, and you shouldn’t either. Or are you ashamed of me?”

“No! No of course not,” Loki backpedaled. “It’s just that I liked it...it was ours.”

“Well now you’ve given away the big secret that the big bad Loki is actually a giant sweetheart, and that was all your doing. Anyway,” she continued before he could interrupt again, “as I was saying, you should thank Darcy, because now it means that we,” she kissed his cheek gently, “can do this,” a second kiss, softly on the other cheek, “whenever,” now the corner of his mouth, “wherever,” a chaste kiss on the mouth, “we want,” her tongue darted out, “without having to hide.” She opened her mouth and kissed him. After a moments hesitation Loki enthusiastically kissed her back.

Someone (Jane) wolf whistled, and someone else (Fandral) started clapping. Loki and Sif ignored them.

The kiss went on.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Parentheses,
> 
> I am deeply sorry for the abuse.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> ala


End file.
